SOMETHING LOVELY FROM YOUR HEART
(Transcript of a Speech)
Tom Lehrer once remarked, "It is sobering to realize that
when Mozart was my age, he'd been dead for eight years."
Mozart reminds me how much I worship success--from afar.
How could anyone be that productive?
I bet we could come closer if we could actually concentrate
on what we're doing.
Have you noticed when you work on something, how part of
your mind is trash talking yourself with "might have been's," "should
have said's," and previews of coming disasters, and how your attention
only occasionally drops by to visit what you are working on?
It's amazing we get anything done. How can we do better?
We can't just "knuckle down and get to work." Knuckling
down only gets us over small humps. It can't get us up the mountain. It's
like when we diet to punish ourselves for being fat. When we think we've
suffered enough, we stop.
What does work long-term? Here's what Mel Brooks said to
Susan Stamberg in an NPR interview:
Nothing good comes out of going for the money. If you do something
lovely from your heart, you might get lucky and make some money. But
if it doesn't come from your heart and soul, if you don't believe in
it from your fingertips to the tips of your toes, it's not going to
be any good. You've got to do it because you love it.
So are we supposed to just hang out and wait to fall in
love with something? That's like what Zha Zha Gabor said: "Love is the
most important thing in a girl's life, so I'll just keep on marrying and
marrying until I find love."
Zha Zha, love is participatory.
Loving something should be like our first romance. We need
to be able to give it our total attention. We need to be totally absorbed
in it.
When you become absorbed in an activity, you won't have
enough mental capacity left over for distractions, for trash talking yourself,
for your attention to wander. You will have a wonderfully refreshing vacation
from tearing yourself down. You will accomplish a lot, because you've
devoted all of your attention to it, and after a session of total absorption,
you'll have higher self-esteem, because hey, you've earned it.
You can find such an activity. Professor Csikszentmihalyi
of the University Chicago gives the name "flow" to this total absorption
in an activity. He found that getting into flow requires four things:
- The activity must be challenging.
- The challenges must be balanced to your abilities.
- The goals must be clear every step.
- You must get quick feedback on what effect your actions are having.
How do you find such an activity? Here's what to look for:
Since it must be challenging, and its challenges must match
your abilities, choose something you already do well
As you spend time with it, your abilities will grow; so
choose something you won't exhaust too soon. Creative activities are best
that way.
Find a group to join that is also devoted to the activity.
A group will encourage you, help you understand the goals, give you feedback,
and show you how to get past roadblocks.
Just as flow excludes worry, so worry can exclude flow.
If you choose something important, don't keep telling yourself how important
it is.
[Imitating a golf announcer] He is stepping up to the ball. This putt
is for the championship and the $250,000 prize. Millions of people are
watching this putt on television. I wonder what's going through his
mind right now.
I know what had better not be going through his mind: any
of that.
In concluding, I could remind you that this is a way to
enjoy life, if that's what you want, and this is a way to be successful,
if that's what you want—does anyone here not want those?
Finally, remember, remember, Mel Brooks' words. To do anything
that is any good:
do something lovely from your heart, something you believe in it from
your fingertips to the tips of your toes. You've got to do it because
you love it.
(I used this speech for the Toastmasters
International Speech Contest.)
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